I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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