Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
