Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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