Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Drunk is a universal language darling
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