all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
accomplished twins. life is a go
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
