why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
