sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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