Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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