May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
