so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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