i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
