so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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