Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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