please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
my shit smells like andre
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
