can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
