If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
