i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
