update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
