I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I will be naked everywhere
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
