We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
last night I used snow as a chaser
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
