In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
