I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
