well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
