you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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