just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
