What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize