And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
This can only be settled by a dance off.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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