dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i will never coherently bang her
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
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