There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
