one two three fourrrrnication!
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I need to align my fucking chakras
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
