I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
