He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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