Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
