real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
