First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
