Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize