Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
i need some magic done to my vagina
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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