i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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