Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
