his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
He shit in the fireplace
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
