he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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