I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
