'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
