I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
