That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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