what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i think i have herpe
just one?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
