I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Randomize
