her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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