At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
