i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
