I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
