last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
