Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
