i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
