I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Alive.
So much puke
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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