I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
