If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize