Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
if i died would you start the facebook group?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
