Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
