So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
