The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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