But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
