Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
