my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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