TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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