Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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