Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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