I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
