is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
