your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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