Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
