three words: i give head
three words: not that well
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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